Monday, May 01, 2006

A long week...

It has been a very, very long week.

*Ziggie and I had a fight last Sunday. It was a doosie. By Monday we had things straightened out, and we're doing better on that level.
*I haven't been sleeping this last week.
*We started training to be foster parents last Saturday and on Tuesday I called to let them know that we wouldn't be attending the next two classes, and not to expect us for another year or two. That was very disappointing to me.
*We had a tiny pregnancy scare this week. I've been PMSing for way too long this time. My mom says it's normal at this stage in life.
*On Wednesday I passed a test that I failed on my last try. Thank you, Ziggie!! God really gave me a clear head this time, and I was able to finish very quickly, despite everything in my personal life. I am now IC3 certified!!
*Saturday we got together with my family, and I got to hold my newest baby sister for the first time. It was a lot of fun to see my parents and to hold that tiny little child. Later that evening we got together with some of Ziggie's friends from college, and it was a lot of fun. I've gotten pretty close to this couple, and I really enjoy their company.
*Yesterday was nice. I got to sit in the service for the first time in a while (between nursery and family illnesses, I've missed several sermons), and was really uplifted by the opportunity. I hadn't realized how much I missed hearing my pastor preach until I was just sitting there, soaking in every word, like a camel that hadn't been given water in a month.
*Baby woke up early today, and was very excited to see that the sun was up. It was bright out, but very, very muddy; so I couldn't just stick him in the backyard like I'm wont to do when he's hyper and I'm not. I had the worst headache in the world and spent the morning trying to explain why Mommy couldn't stand light, noise, or food -- three things a toddler absolutely cannot live without massive amounts of each day. I spent the majority of the day in a massive depression -- battling several other negative mood swings throughout the day and counting the minutes until bedtime.
*After a long day without a nap, and a very bad scare involving my two year old in the middle of the street and some young punk honking at him and scaring him senseless (so instead of moving, he just froze!), my husband got home, and took me away from the house. My headache finally went away, and we got a lock for the front door that Baby will not be able to undo -- and nor will anyone else in the known universe. I'm convinced that if this thing ever gets on we will never again use the front door. We also got some stuff to keep the dog from tearing apart the yard, and some new towel racks to keep me from tearing apart the house. We went out to dinner, where my son behaved very well, was polite to everyone he encountered, and ate a massive dinner.

So now it's after midnight, and I can't sleep again (what else is new?). I'm going to talk to the doctor about this at my annual next week. Something is wrong, and I want it fixed. Plus, he thinks he may know why I can't eat certain foods, and why I get sick other times. We took some blood, and the results will be back two days before my appointment. Nothing urgent, just exciting to feel one step closer. I've decided to adopt Edison's attitude. Every test we do is not another failure -- it is simply another problem ruled out. If this test is negative, I can rejoice that I do not have this problem, and will refuse to fear that what I really have is worse.

If you're the praying type, please pray that I begin getting sleep. This will solve a lot of my problems -- or at least alleviate the symptoms until we figure out what's wrong. My mood swings, pain, concentration levels, and thought patterns are all very drastically being affected, and I don't like living like this. I don't like putting my family through this. With God's mercy, we have made it, and are coming out strong at the moment. But we need prayers.

Thanks guys.

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