Thursday, April 13, 2006

Grin -- don't you love it?

Last night I had four awesome, feature-length dreams. I know that I've gotten good sleep when I have a good, feature-length dream. And I had four last night!! Four that I can remember really well. I love dreams like that. And they were happy dreams. I like happy dreams.

Anyway, I swung my feet out of bed this morning, and immediately felt that finally - at long last - I have escaped from under the cloud that has been following me around the last few weeks. I felt like I was back to my happy, satisfied person.

I had a great day today. I went to a informational meeting for Foster care. I signed us up for the classes you have to take, and we're all set for the adoption stuff too. I am so eager, so excited. I filled out a lot of the paperwork today. My husband went to the doctor, and got some meds to help him feel better. I got part of the den cleaned out, and put like six pieces of furniture out on the lawn to be taken, and they all were!! Hooray!! So I cleaned some clutter out of my house, and I got rid of a bunch of boxes in the garage. I just feel soo... accomplished, so DONE!!

And I'm happy. I'm not thinking too hard about things. I got enough sleep, and I feel like I've settled something for myself, although I'm not really sure what it is. And I'm Okay with that -- the not knowing. I feel like during my sleep last night, God waved a little pixie dust over me, and said, Look chica!! You need to just relax!! I've got it all in control, and you'll figure it out in time. Just let things be, and let them happen. And the pixie dust hasn't worn off yet, and I love that feeling.

I danced tonight. I turned on the TV to watch one of my shows, and the theme song is really upbeat and peppy. And I waggled my hips and flailed my arms, and I just danced around the living room. I feel great. I feel AMAZING. And I know that God has begun a good work in me today. I know that this joy, this moment right now, will spread throughout my life, and will intoxicate all who come in contact with me. I know that *I* am in control of my emotions, not the other way around, and that just a little time spent with HIM can remind me of that, and can turn my whole attitude around.

Oh, I wish you could see me right now. I am sitting here, typing madly, chewing on the corner of my bottom lip, and just -- GRINning. I love to grin. I love the way a true GRIN starts deep down with the beat of your heart. I love that it spreads up, and you can see it in your eyes first. I love the way the corners of your eyes will crinkle up right before you just bust out with a huge smile, that makes the apples of your cheeks swell up and turn just a little pink. I love the way that even when your lips are done turning up, and the smile part is over, and you're just looking at someone, something... you still feel the grin in your cheek muscles, and in your eyelids, and in the beat of your heart.

1 comment:

Barb said...

I haven't read in a while, friend, and this was on top and I just wanted to comment. I love days like you described--they are a gift of God to me. I am trying more and more to be aware when I'm not so up and that feeling can begin to sneak into my "other days." I remember what I liked about that great day, and look (when I have energy) to see if any of that is around Today that I can latch on to. Sometimes I can, and it makes Today at least a little lighter. Also, when you talked about the grin? It reminded me of when A (no names, please) was younger--I'd be semi-frowning and he'd come up, very lightly stroke my cheek with one finger and say, "Come on--let the grin out. I know it's in there...." Well, you can guess what happened--usually it also brought a giggle! Love you.