Right now I'm feeling particularly sentimental. I am missing some people that are very close to my heart. I spoke with a friend this afternoon who is realizing that his relationship with his girlfriend is not glorifying God. They've been together just for the sake of being together, and he's learning that this is not what God has in mind for him.
I had a very short relationship once that was just for the sake of being in a relationship. While I did genuinely care for the young man, our relationship wasn't made to go anywhere, and when we broke up, I wasn't hurt. I did miss him, but not as much as I had thought I would. Right after this, I met my husband, and now I realize that while I was dating this other man, God was trying to give me His best.
Anyway... my friend is in a rougher position, because he really cares for this girl, and would like to marry her, but she isn't interested in pleasing God with her choices. She would rather run from her problems than face them, and this troubles my friend. Slowly he has been growing toward the Lord, and has learned a lot about patience in the last two years. But now he finds his own desires conflicting with God's, and that's not fun.
My friend's emotional conflict has made me miss some of my first true friends. Pearl was my best friend, even when I wasn't a very good friend to her. And I am so glad that she continued to pursue me. She has become very near to my heart, and I wish I could be with her.
I'm missing my high school friends, two in particular. I miss just hanging out and laughing. I miss not really worrying about what God had in store for our big pictures, but learning to trust Him in the little things together. I miss the jokes and the way we knew everything about each other. I miss truly being able to share with another person, and knowing that they would care, even if they couldn't truly understand. I miss the companionship that resulted from being together all the time.
One of my friends from High School wrote a short note that really encouraged me today. I miss his daily encouragement, his daily enthusiasm for the Lord and His Word. So friend, thank you.
I remember one night we all went to hang out on the canal, and we took peanut butter and jelly and break, and we made sandwiches. We offered to anyone who passed by, but only one little girl accepted. She asked her parents, and they just kind of laughed as we made her a sandwich. We had so much fun. I remember watching the Matrix over and over whenever I went to Pearl's house. I remember walking through the woods with Job and his family. They were so much fun, and really enjoyed teasing each other.
I think the thing I miss most about High School is the people -- the feeling of truly belonging. Every now and then I would be laughing with friends, and I would just sit back and think how awesome it was that we were together, that I was a part of them. And I would have to blink really hard so they wouldn't know I was crying inside -- just from the sheer joy of their presence.
I want to thank You for the relationships You have placed in my life. I want to thank you for the lessons You taught through these special friends. Please place Your hand on them today, and help them to feel that joy of companionship today. Thank You for such a blessing. Father, You are so good, and You have the ultimate good planned for our lives. Please help us to get out of Your way, so that You may be glorified. And Father, I don't want to live in the past today. Help me to be thankful for the way You have changed these relationships to play a different role in my life. Help me not to pine for what I've lost, but to take joy in what I have gained. Thank You for allowing these relationships to mature in Your time, and not in ours. Please be with my friend as he makes this difficult decision. Help him to obey, no matter how hard it is. And Father... show him the joy that You showed me today.
Thank You for Your love. Amen.